Tri-Star Victorious Over Scrappers for 2021 Summer League Championship
New Lenox, IL - After a season long battle from the chills of May, the gnats of June, to the heat of July, the playoffs came down to the final four remaining teams. First place Brew Jays, Tri-Star, The Scrappers, and Hammered all vied this past Tuesday for the summer season title. Most of the Gazette reporters are on summer hiatus so we reached out to some fledgling members of the pen and paper to account for the early action. You've heard of a player/coach or player/manager but we enlisted a couple of player/writers to help out tonight; Jeff and Ken from your beloved Master Batters. The following is their account of the Tri-Star vs Hammered game.
With many regulars missing, the sight of twin Irish Wolfhounds, and a eerily quiet-evening, Gazette Interns, Ken and Jeff believed they were in an episode of the Twilight Zone as they ascended upon game 1. Hell, they didn’t even sign up for this journalism gig until after the game.
At first sight of the field, there was no sign of former one-time MB SS and so-called trader, Matt Suter, as well as a slew of other Tri-Star regulars. It was also evident that the hi-vis orange shirt behind the dish was neither Ronnie, nor Kevin, but a much paler-skinned substitute!! We’ll call him ‘Ball Bag’ because as seen in the photo above, he actually traveled to his car in-between games to gather a satchel and fill it with the shiny, neon green balls.
Before the first pitch was even thrown, the umpire formerly known as ‘Ball Bag’ pulled the Amish Deacon aside. Clearly to discuss the handmade Old Hickory’s with questionable USSSA-certified stickers; Stating that the letters U-S-S-S-A written in sharpie doesn’t qualify the wooden timber’s as “legal.”
Much to our chagrin, the well-dressed Amish folk were sluggers, scoring 3 in the 2nd, 5 in the 3rd, and piling on a bunch more to eventually gift-wrap this one as an 11-0 Tri-Star slaughter. No “Swing and Amish” in this one. We’ll check the parking lot to see if the horse and buggy are still here for the 8:30 ‘Ship.
This game almost appeared as a glorified
practice for both teams. An absolute beat down on the part of Tri-Star.
Before
we even got the wrinkles out of our sling bag chairs, the game had nearly
ended. We hardly had time to crack a P-nut and a cold one before we were headed
for the exits.
There was more action and
jiggles going on in the sand volleyball game so we actually stopped to watch a
couple lofty serves and a few hard spikes into the dry, sandy pit. Coach Ken
actually had to adjust his trousers (part of that was induced by the 115° heat
wave).
Steve
Burns proved to be the best player for the boys that appeared to be more
Hammered than their name indicated. Ripping a liner into center, nearly
decapitating the pitcher. - the CF came up crow-hopping, thinking he could peg
the older of the Burn’s bro’s, launching the ball 25 feet over the first
baseman’s head. Hammered failed to tally many more hits after that. Interested
to see if its more likely they come out with uniforms next season or don’t come
out at all.
Earlier
in the game, Sweatshirt-boy lined a ball into center where it was clearly
trapped then dropped by the CF. The play was suddenly called dead when the ump
said it was a catch to end the inning. That left these two Reporters and the
audacious crowd up in arms asking ourselves where Ump Kevin was, and what
planet we were on (seriously, what a weird-ass night). Sweatshirt proceeded to
berate the sad-sack ump throughout the whole game, receiving just one warning.
This all resulted in a near post-game confrontation with Sweatshirt asking
‘Ball Bag’ if he wanted any latex…
‘Ball
Bag’ later declined our request for comment.
Thank you to Jeff and Ken Schoenhofen for reporting to duty.
The following parts are all fabricated except the results. Let's not get the facts in the way of any arguments!
Following the game one 11-0 walk-off drumming of Hammered at the hands of Tri-Star, the sparse crowd stood by with the anticipation of game 2 and a Brew Jays slaughter over The Scrappers. The crowd was treated to something more than a procession walk for Brew Jays into The Show. The lookers on were stunned as the Brew Jays turned into the Blow Jays and could only muster up eight runs as The Scrappers pulled off the shocking upset over the #1 seed, winning 11-8. The game was marred with boredom as each team struggled to put runs across the plate. In the end, The Scrappers credited their victory to their prior week's opponent, The Master Batters. Scrapper outfielder, Richard Pudman, stated; "Man, after that win over the Master Batters last week, we just knew that we would beat the Brew Jays" Pudman continued; "If we could get a hit off that Master Batter pitcher, we could get a hit off of anyone!".
All of the early action set up the season finale with high flying The Scrappers taking on Tri-Star. Both teams scored plenty of runs early and often. The game was nip and tuck but Tri-Star prevailed 18-16 to take the Summer League. Congratulations to Tri-Star on their championship. The members of the team were seen heading back to Amish Acres for milk, cookies, and rocking chair building.
Noteables:
Week 2 MVP - Lauren with Kerty dog watching duties. Remember winter coats?
Week 3 Night Moves - How many Master Batters does it take to start a vehicle?
Week 4
Jack through the bushes.
Week 5 Thumping - Not a happy look on the field nor on the scorebook.
Week 6 Picture Says It All
Week 7 Three to One - Compare and contrast runners.
Week 8 Bag and Stapes
Week 9 Never Happened - Rainout
Week 10 Shoe The Shoeless - This one never gets old Click here
.
Week 11 Laziness - No game time pictures.
Week 12 No Gnats - As this reporter turned right onto Cedar from Joliet Highway heading to the last game of the season, the mosquito sprayer was there to greet my eyes zipping along the street belching out the repellent
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