New Lenox, IL - The night was over for Corona nearly before it started. The Volts came out swinging and beat up on the winless "ended the world" squad. Sutes hit a walkoff grand slam to bring the contest to a merciful end with the Volts logging an 18-3 victory. The score was so lopsided that a fan called the police to break up the game. Reporter Bob caught up with Sutes after the game for a quote; "yeah, I told the guys to do whatever it takes to load the bases so I could get the winning poke and for once, they actually did what they were supposed to do..................make me the hero". The win brings the Volts to a record of 4-2, which is good enough for a 2nd place tie with Chuck's whom lost to the Brew Jays in a squeaker. Action resumes next Tuesday at 6:30 PM against Paradise Bay.
Noteables:
Better Late Than Never - Zlogar was late to the game last night and the Volts had to start with nine players. Z was overheard in the dugout trying to plead his case; "Come on guys, I had to stay late because Jeff (Amazon founder Bezos) needed his head waxed and I was the only game in town. I might be late next week as well because he needs other things waxed".
Name Change - Before becoming Corona ended the world, they were Little Sisters of the Poor. They moved from Palatine to the New Lenox Tuesday night league with little fanfare. We hope you Volts are proud of your lopsided win last night.
Cry Me a River - Literally. Tears would be the most water that the Lion's Den field has received in the recent past. The infield was so dry that the dirt was downgraded from
Surface of the Moon to
Surface of Mars.
Old School - Ryno clamped down last night by allowing only three runs scored. The Volt defense continues to sizzle as it's only given up 45 runs on the year. The next best team defense has given up 63 runs. Ryno also chipped in with 2 sacrifice flies.
Quite a Night - Zlogar made a bare hand stab on a weak pop up to add to the sterling defensive effort. Z also went three for three in his role in the 10 slot. If you think about it, maybe Z realized that he would be batting 10th due to his lack of production lately and faked being late to save face. Nah, he really polished Bezos' head.
Ham - Jack robbed Sister Mary Slammer of her first lifetime homerun and banged his head in the process. Jack emailed a comment to the Gazette and demanded that it be included in the edition. Here goes: "My fence climbing catch to turn that home run into an out was the greatest of all time. Willie Mays famous catch is shit compared to my wizardry with the glove last night. That's what I'm talking about! LET'S GOOOOOO!!!".
R.I.P. Willie Mays
Mr. Sketches - Jeff drew up a diving stop last night that turned out to be a base hit but was spectacular nonetheless. There has not been such a miraculous stop since Trent Boobis flagged down a one-hop liner from Nick Matazewski in 2004. That catch was tainted by the amount of peanut butter spilled in Boobis' glove at the time.
4/9ths - Sutes drove in 8 of the 18 runs last night with four of them coming on the game ending grand slam. Matt also scored three times in the brief contest.
Sweet Home - Pratl returned last night from a long stint in Alabama by going three for three with a run scored and three RBI's. There is a rumor stirring around that the only reason Mike showed up to play for the Volts last night was because the team he plays for in Alabama had a bye. Good luck next week when you return to the Yank-Deez.
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