Storm Riders Tackle Master Batters
New Lenox, IL - Master Batters fell to the Storm Riders 19-13 in a game that was not as close as the score indicates. MB started out with three runs in the first inning to take a brief lead. Storm Riders came back with an offensive attack to take an 8 - 3 advantage. MB tightened it up and were only one run down after two innings but could not sustain an offensive attack for the third week in a row before succumbing to the heavy fuel crew. The bottom of the lineup, which had been holding its end of the bargain, went a combined 6 for 19 on the night to go out quietly against their opponent. MB now fall to 5th place and look to right the ship next week at 8:30 PM against the winless The Green Team.
Editors Note:
Last week, the Gazette incorrectly described Stapes home run as a three-run shot. The home run came with the bases full for the grand slam.
Noteables:
Bean Ball - As MB was on the field for the bottom half of the first inning and finished their warmup tosses, Ken threw the infield ball toward the dugout and missed for the 98th time in a row and pined "I've never thrown one in the dugout". As Ken was spinning around to go to his position, Jeff threw the outfield ball toward the dugout and beaned Ken in the leg.
Billy Bob Plumber - "Ate" Jeff up in the 2nd inning on a groundball.
Fashion Belt - Matt Sutor hung around to watch the game and had a beer with the Gazette staff. As he was standing on the other side of the fence, he noticed Koz's shiny belt and the two had a conversation about the MB outfielder's accessory that is great to wear to a baseball game and a wedding.
Wheels - Koz launched a ball over the center fielders head and steamed for an easy and legitimate inside the park home run. Koz was "Jeff/Jack" fast on that play.
Fallen Hero - Ken had what would have been an easy base hit until he tripped on the chalk and tumbled to the ground. He got up in time to get thrown out at first base.
Gus's - Dude from Storm Riders wearing the Gus's t-shirt contemplated taking an extra base before turning around and seeing Jeff with the ball in his position and said; "Not going. It's the arm. It's the mustache".
Gary the K - Threw two strikeouts on the evening, one on a fouled third strike and the other looking.
Patience - Thank you to Zlogar for having patience with the Gazette. The Gazette will take a week off of the player profile and continue next week with Zlogar as the featured player.
Cutoffs - Jeff made a diving stop at shortstop, came up throwing, and airmailed one to St. John, Indiana. Koz, shouted "Hit the cutoff man" from the outfield.
Cover the Bag - Stapes saved the team, and Uncle Gary, by getting involved from 1st base to cover third base in a rundown to nail a Storm Rider.
Whitehouse Wiped Out - Whitehouse turned on the jets to stretch to third base where the throw beat him but made a nifty elusive slide to hit the bag before being tagged by the third baseman. The umpire, who hustled down the line to get into position, called WH out as his view was shielded by the sliding MB second baseman. Whitehouse was safe as the tag was 12 inches from him.
Amazon-ing - Zlogar made a nice tag on one of the beefy Storm Riders who did not slide into home plate. Zlogs braced himself for the occasion to deliver a shot of his own on the vanquished runner.
Whitehouse Wiped Out II - Whitehouse had what would be a nice base hit to right field with a solid shot but was called out by the home plate umpire for stepping over the plate. Gazette commentary: Really? MB is down by a half a dozen runs and the ump pics this moment to make that rare call. Come on man!
Gloves and Sleeves - Koz has almost as many gloves as Ryan has arm sleeves.
Full Capacity - With the covid-19 restrictions eased, Lions Den was able to take on a full house for the game.
Happy Anniversary
It has come to the Gazette’s attention that Tuesday was the
30th anniversary of Kathy and Ken.
Happy Anniversary kids!!! In
honor of their anniversary, the Gazette is going to take a week off of the
player profile and present my top 10 or shall we say Top Ken memories of the MB
emotional leader. Most of the names in these
accounts have been changed to protect the innocent and in some cases, not so
innocent. There’s more memories and we
reserve the right to add them in a pinch.
Here goes:
Honorable Mention: Coach Mitt
It’s 2001 and the kids are 7 or 8 years old and at the first
practice of the year for Rebel in-house baseball. I’m sitting on the bleachers half paying
attention to the goings on but notice some loud guy on the field vigorously
walking around wearing an unbroken in catcher’s mitt. After practice, I ask Jake “how did it
go?” “Pretty good” “What are your coach’s names?” “Coach mouth,
coach mitt, coach repeater” “Which one is which?” I ask. “That guy over there”, and Jake points to
Ken. Ken was all three. That was the day that Jake and I first laid
our eyes on the fiery Ken Schoenhofen.
He’s as passionate and boisterous now as back then……………..still sporting
that unbroken in catcher’s mitt.
10. How Ken got into coaching……………the Morey Story.
Same year, 2001. The
manager of the team is a college aged kid named Morey. Morey doesn’t have a relative or any
associated person on the team, nor friend of any parent. RED FLAG, RED FLAG. Sorry Jack, RED FLAG!!! After a couple of practices, Morey is gone
and suddenly Jim Wingfield Sr (or Bag’s dad if you will) is now the manager of the team. As it turns out Morey was on the sex
offenders list and the law politely informed Rebel baseball that they need to
conduct better background checks and we never saw Morey again. At that point, Mr. Wingfield knighted Ken as
a coach, and thus started his long
coaching career.
9. Vanderschmidt
It’s the mid 2000’s, around 2007. Ken is the skipper of the Will County Coyotes
and the team is playing in a tournament at Ho Chunk Baseball Complex in
Lynwood, IL. The game ends with the
Coyotes on the wrong side of the score.
One of the coach’s, Mr. Crawdad, gets in a flap with Joey McGonigal, and Ken steps in the middle of a real
mess. Joey’s grandfather, Country Strong
Dick Vanderschmidt overhears some yelling and thinks that Ken started the whole
mess. The misunderstanding continues and
things escalate a bit to where with Ken is on one side of the fence yelling to
Vanderschmidt “Do you want to take a poke at me?! Go ahead, take a poke!” Vanderschmidt, normally a mild mannered dude,
comes over to the fence where Ken repeats “Do you want to take a poke at
me?!”. Things calm down and cooler heads
prevail. After the post-game flap and
team chat session, we get in the van and I said to my wife Gale “Man, that
Vanderschmidt gets into more conflict on his way to the breakfast table, he
would have killed Ken”.
8. Nervous Wild Thing
Ken is coaching the Will County Coyotes at this point and
they are in their second year of existence.
One kid on the team, Aaric Russ, is a lanky pitcher who throws the ball
extremely hard but on most nights cannot locate the batter’s box let alone the
strike zone. Ken uses this kid
sparingly in fear that he is going to hurt someone. On this particular evening, the Coyotes are
playing in Homewood and coach Ken has a late appointment and will not make the
game so he entrusts Coach Al to step in for the night. Being playful as I am, the starting pitcher
is Aaric Russ. Let’s backtrack. Ken is an enthusiastic person who says it
like it is, loud and clear. At the same
time, Ken as we know, is a teddy bear.
Aaric Russ doesn’t know that as a 14 year old and Ken makes him nervous. Back to Homewood………….Russ starts the game and
is throwing flames for strikes and the opposing team cannot get much going. It’s now late in the game and the Coyotes are
one inning away from victory and a complete game for Russ. Ken pulls up to the field and I see his car
on the street. Fortunately, the Coyote
dugout was on the first base side where Ken double parked, so I ran over to the
car and Ken rolls down the window and asks how it’s going. I say that we are winning 2-1 and Russ is
still in the game. Ken says; “you’re
shitting me and laughs”. Then Ken asks if he should park the car and join the
team in the dugout. I say “NO. If Russ sees you, he’ll get nervous…. hang
out here and watch the game and join us afterward”. Russ pitches the final inning for a complete
game and the Coyotes win 2-1. Several
days later, the Coyotes are playing a tough team and Ken decides he is going to
start new found ace Russ to give the team a chance. Russ hits the first couple
of batters and nearly decapitates a third then Ken comes over to me and says;
“I have to get this kid out of there before he kills someone”. A few walks later, Ken pulls Wild Thing and
Russ rarely saw the hill for the rest of the season.
7. Willy the Wimp and His Ken Attack
Rebels In-house baseball, 2004 on a sunny Sunday afternoon. The Braves are winning a one-run game and
Bryant Smythers pitches the fifth of a six inning game and holds the opponent
down to no score. Smythers is a 9 year
old playing on a 9-10 year old team so although he can throw strikes, at times he’s a bit overwhelmed by the age
difference. Braves score no runs in the top half of the sixth inning so all we
have to do is hold them and go home.
Smith walks the first batter and Ken yanks him from the game for the
hard throwing Joey McGonigal. Yes, the
same Joey McGonigal who in a couple of years would be the center of the Vanderschmidt
story. McGonigal gives up a triple on
the very first pitch and the ball game is tied with no outs in the bottom of
the sixth inning. As if this isn’t bad
enough, Bryant’s mild mannered dad, Willy, is all of the sudden in Ken’s face
saying; “are you happy that you took Bryant out of the game!!!? Are you happy
now?!!!” Mr. Smythers turns around and
goes back to spectate the rest of what is surely a loss because Ken pulled his
son from the game. Ken is stunned but
focused on the game and a little
bewildered by Willy’s outburst in front of parents, kids, opponents, coaches,
and Mildred the random lady passing by.
McGonigal strikes out the next three batters to strand the runner at
third base and Ken is pumped. The Braves score in extra innings and Joey goes 1-2-3
in the bottom of the frame for a victory.
Ken is double pumped because of the dramatic win AND in your face “little
league dad” moment to add the cherry on top. After the game, Mr. Smythers comes up to an
elated Ken and apologizes to him for his outburst. Ken was still bewildered.
6. Time for a Haircut
Ken’s Bravos team is about to take on the Rays for the
in-house championship (more on that in Top Ken moment #3) and declares days
before the big game……”If we win against the Rays, I will get my hair shaven off
at home plate”. Gale offers to Ken that
she has the equipment to get the job done so he accepts with “You’re on baby!” One
thing about Ken, he’s as honest as the day is long and is a man of his
word. Ken’s charges go on to take the
championship in a thriller. The team
celebrates wildly , receives the championship trophy and soon after, Ken is
sitting on a chair placed on top of home plate getting his head shaved in front
of every player, coach and fan in the vicinity.
There are photos to document that event and when they become available
to the Gazette, they will be posted accordingly.
5. Victor Gonzales
This Top Ken is #5 but #1 when it comes to the humanitarian
big picture. We’ll use Victor’s real name here because this is a heartwarming
story of a kid who played a year on one of Coach Ken’s teams. Victor was not a good player but tried hard,
was very coachable but did not really enjoy the sport of baseball. Ken worked with Vic throughout the year with
limited success. As the year came and went, Victor only had a hit or two but
started having fun with his teammates toward the end of the season. The following year, Victor ends up on an
opposing team, the Cardinals, who are the opponent this day. Victor gets two or three hits against his
former team and drives in a bunch of runs in the process, with the game ending
up in a close decision. Normally, I’d recall something simple like who won the
game but not here…mainly because of what happened next. In the lineup to shake the opponents hands,
Victor is elated because he’s played well and did so in front of his former
coach. Vic gets to Ken, who is the last
in line being the manager, and they shake hands. Ken says something to the effect of “Victor
my man. Great job today!”. Victor is smiling and says; “Thank you”. He goes on to say; “Last year I was going to
quit baseball but I had so much fun playing with you and learned so much that I
thought I’d give it another shot. Thank
you for what you did for me”. That’s
what it’s all about friends. If you can
reach one kid, it makes it all worthwhile.
Ken has reached many kids and adults in a big way. On behalf of Victor and everyone you’ve
touched, thank you Ken!
4. A Little Swampy
It’s 2004 and has been raining for the past several days and
there are puddles everywhere around the fields of Rebel baseball. If you go to the Rebel fields these days, the
place is well groomed and immaculate and you generally do not see standing
water; even after heavy rains. Not so
much in those days. As Ken’s Braves team
is one victory away from taking the NL and going to the championship, Ken
declares in a pre-game speech to the team; “if we win this game, I will dive
into that big puddle head first”. That
was a crowd pleasing statement to kids and parents alike. Ken is going to jump into that nasty, natty,
and disgustingly smelling puddle that had grown to be the size of a small pond…………man,
let’s win this thing. It’s a hot an
humid evening with mosquitos everywhere but the Braves overcome the elements
and their opponent to win the game!
After the post-game handshakes, Ken lines up the team for the upcoming
show and dives head first into the water like he was trippin’ at a Red Hot
Chili Peppers show. Ken gets up and is
all wet from head to toe. Side
lesson: this guy is not going to say
something without backing it up. Ken may
have gotten a stray congratulatory hug that night from an unsuspecting parent.
Ken also got a burning rash from that water.
3. David sleighs Goliath
It’s 2004 and up to this point in Rebel in-house baseball,
only the top four teams in each league make the playoffs. This particular year, Rebel brass are going to change things and
allow every team to make the playoffs.
Ken’s Braves team is talented but underperforming throughout the
season. The bottom of the lineup are
three easy outs and everybody has to play two or three innings so balls are
finding the most untalented kids throughout the season at the most inopportune
times. Ken’s boys enter the playoffs
with a 4-10 record. The first game is a
play-in match to have the honors to play the best team in the league, the
Phillies. This is a story in its own right. The Braves win the play-in game
against an equal opponent and are on to
play the Phillies. It’s a threatening
night and I have the car packed up and
have the family heading to St. Louis after the game for a week of work and
little vacation for the end of the baseball season. As the game begins, it starts raining and
one-by one, every other game around us is called off due to the poor playing
conditions. It’s raining harder and
harder. Nobody would continue to play a
game except the Phillies coaches who want to play this game because they want
the quick win and be able to rest their studs so that after every other team finishes
their rainouts, they’ll have the barrels loaded for the next opponent. Throughout the game, Philly coaches keep
insisting that the game is played and Ken continues to respond ;“let’s play on”. Bad move on the Phillies part. Poor conditions equalized the talent and the
Braves eeked out a dramatic narrow victory against the self-appointed champions
who were reduced to crying babies, coaches included. St. Louis trip cancelled. PISS ON THE
PHILLIES became the team mantra, which is still used to this day.
Two more wins later, (yes there were a lot of teams in the
league back then. That’s when little
kids played baseball in the summer and did not marry themselves to social media
and the smart phone Hell, it hadn’t been
invented yet.) the Braves are in the
championship game. Ken had a contentious
relationship with Rebel brass because all they cared about at the time was
colluding to stack super-teams to win in-house championships and the travel
teams who were comprised of many of these insiders. Anyway, the Braves go on to win the
championship to the chagrin of every true red Rebel official. Ken’s upstart blue collar team handles its
opponents one by one and are crowned that year’s 9/10 year-old champions. After the five playoff wins, the Braves are
holding the championship trophy with a 9-10 record. Ken and his team of happy go lucky kids
re-wrote the rulebook. Literally. The
next year, the Rebel little league dad convention committee got together and
decided once again that only the top few teams in each league would participate
in the playoffs. They did not think it
was fair that a team with a losing record should win the league championship. If we
could only have a camera on Ken while reading this story of him beating the
mighty Rebels fair and square. The next
season with the help of his wife Kathy, Ken would bolt the Rebels to launch the
New Lenox Hawks travel baseball team.
2. Case of Beer
Milo DaVinci is the worst player you’ve ever seen. Milo’s mom hates everything to do with this
kid playing baseball and seems to resent being at the games more than the
kid. The dad is an affable story-teller
who says that he has friends who play in the major leagues. The parents are divorced and the dad clearly
wants his kid to play baseball and be good at it but it’s not really possible
because Milo is dragged out there for every practice and every game and does
not want any part of it. It’s mid-season
and todays opponent are the A’s and Milo is hitless on the year with no signs
of making contact as much work as Ken and the coaches put in with him. Milo is super afraid of the ball. That, and the combination of hating baseball,
is a poor recipe for success. It’s early
in the game and Ken’s team gets to the bottom of the batting order. It’s not known up to this point by those who
weren’t there but other than the first season when Ken started coaching, I have
a seat in the first class section for all of these stories having been Ken’s bench
(eyes and ears) coach during this run. As the story continues, Milo is on deck. Ken and I are in the 1st base side
dugout 2/3rds of the way toward that base.
Milo walks right past Ken and says; “Coach Al, should I bunt?”. Ken’s eyes are on the game and he doesn’t
look at Milo or me and shakes his head with a half-laugh to acknowledge to me
the comedy of this kid ignoring him and asking me. I said “Yeah, I like it! Bunt, you’ll get on base”, and Milo walks
away with a plan. It’s now his turn to
bat and as he’s walking to home plate, Ken laughs and says; “Can you believe
that. He walked right past me (the manager) and asked you if he should
bunt. I replied; “I’ll bet you a case of
beer he gets a hit”. In poker terms, Ken
snap calls and says ; “You’re on brother”.
First pitch comes in and as you can hear the ball popping in the
catcher’s glove, Milo reluctantly swings and instantly looks up to me and I
say; “I thought we had a deal”. The next
pitch comes in and Milo squares away and hits the most perfect bunt you’ve ever
seen and easily secures his first base hit ever. “Unbelievable” were Ken’s words, followed by
a belly laugh; “I can’t believe that”.
Not more than 15 minutes later, the skies opened up and rained out the
unofficial game, which negates all
stats. Not this day as Ken said that the
stats are official and handed Milo the game ball for his day’s work.
1 Let Me Repeat
That
It’s 2005 and Ken is the skipper of the New Lenox Hawks in
their inaugural season. It’s a sunny
Saturday afternoon and the Hawks are in Lockport, which is the host site for a
two-day tournament. Lockport fest or
something like that is going on and there are carnival rides in the
distance. Face painting, balloon hats,
free popsicles, and all kinds of activities going on that are distracting the
boys. Ken’s team is barely paying
attention to baseball and at times coming into the dugout with popsicles and
the good coach gets on their asses on several occasions asking for just 2 hours
of their attention. The distracted Hawks
end up losing a close game and Ken lets them have it in the post-game
huddle. Ken rants about commitment,
paying attention, being focused, not being distracted by the carnival
atmosphere and that there was time for that kind of stuff after the game is
over. Ken was very upset because he got
minimal attention from the team and likely would have won the game with even an
inch more of effort.
After a full nights rest, the Hawks returned to Lockport to
play in the tournament which is double elimination and the team has already
lost the Saturday popsicle-game. Sunday is
a disaster. More of the same from the
Hawk players who are more interested in free hot dogs than playing
baseball. Ken is glowing hot and wants
some focus from the team but despite his efforts, the Hawks lose again by
nearly the same score with the same poor effort. Ken asks the coaches to gather the team
behind the dugout as he paces up and down the right field line. The team is now in a circle waiting for their
fearless leader to provide the post-game tirade. Ken walks into the huddle and is hot! He says; “Let me play you the recording from
yesterday”. Ken then places an invisible
tape recorder on an invisible table and says; “Let me hit the rewind button
from yesterday’s speech”. He then
presses the fictitious rewind button followed by pressing the invisible play
button, and then walks off to the parking lot, gets in his vehicle, and disappears. Classic post game tirade that wasn’t a tirade. Mic drops were not a thing back then so Ken
may have had a part in its invention with his tape recorder walk-off. I am not sure if the kids new what a tape
recorder was but they knew that Ken was pissed off at the effort. The rest of
us enjoyed the show where Ken left us wanting more.
Happy Anniversary once again Kathy and Ken!
Comments
Post a Comment