Gnats Nail Hammered

 

New Lenox, IL - On a night that would be better suitable for Halloween debauchery, the Gnaturals squared off against Hammered to try and put a halt to a five game losing streak.  The Gnaturals came into the game as the lowest scoring team in the league with a total of 60 runs scored after six games.  The slump came to an end as Cap'n Jack decided that an Atlanta Braves MLB division series was more important than putting together a lineup, thus handing the keys over to an eager Arik With An A.  Arik put the lineup together, slapped in himself as the team leadoff hitter and proceeded to score their first 10 hitters in route to a 23 - 7 beatdown of Hammered.  The Gnats went through the entire lineup in the top of the first inning before a single out was recorded in what would be a 4-inning slaughter.  Gnats scored 14 runs in the first inning, followed by a blank in the second frame before tacking on 4 more in the third and capping things off with 5 runs in the fourth inning to end the night early.  The Gnats enjoyed a rare 4-homerun night as Zlogar's first HR was a "4-run error" when the left fielder went back to the fence to attempt corralling the long drive but couldn't squeeze the ball as it ricocheted over the fence. Stapes ended up with two homeruns on the evening for six RBI but was topped by Zlogar's effort.  The legging-cladded outfielder hit two homeruns for a total of 10 RBI.  A note went out to Cap'n Jack as to the team record for most RBI in one game but he could not be reached as he was watching the replay of the Braves elimination of Milwaukee that made him late to the game in the first place.  Arik With An A becomes a first time winner as skipper in his first attempt.  The Gnats end the season on Tuesday, October 19th against Beggars at 7:30 PM before the playoff season begins. 

 

Noteables:

 

Stay In The Lot Goof! - Was what "Old School" yelled out to an oncoming Cap'n Jack as he strolled in from the left field fence during the playing of the first inning.

 

 

 

 

 

Scoring Zone - After putting up 14 runs in the first inning, the Gnats threw a blank in the 2nd inning prompting Pratl to quip "I guess we are out of the scoring zone".

 

New Skipper - Congratulations to Arik on his first managerial win!

Tape Measure - Koz went 4-for-4 last night.  All of his his combined hits did not total the distance of any one of Stapes or Zlogar's homeruns.

All In - Every Gnatural in the lineup scored a run against Hammered......in the first inning!

Hit Parade - 22 hits and 4 walks in 3 2/3 innings worth of hitting for the Gnaturals offense.

 

 

 

 

Last Game As a Single Man - Congratulations to Koz for his upcoming marriage this Friday to his lovely bride-to-be Krystal!

Better Late Than Never - Jack showing up at his discretion wearing a 2004 Rebels Braves jersey.  He was quoted pre-game; "I am not holding your hands tonight boys".

Only Two - Jack is only one of two Gnats or former Master Batters who would fit in the uniform they wore as a 10 year old.  The other is Jimmy Letsos of course.

Orb - As seen here in the picture below behind Ry and Stapes, a ghostly cloud made an appearance every time the Gnats took the field.  Hammered was rumored to want to protest the game because the Orb was the 11th man on the field for the Gnats.  Protest denied.

 

Two Weeks In a Row - The Gnaturals hung out after the game two weeks in a row in big numbers.  Below are just two of the photos Gazette staff photographer captured last night.  The first is Wadeless, the second Wadeful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Plenty of Room - Notice the space between Whitehouse and Jack.  A trophy sure would look nice in that space.

How Many Gnats Does It Take To Delay a Softball Game? - The game before the Gnats finished very early.  Umpire Ronny(???) wanted to start the game early but the Gnats, who were stalling for the Cap'n to arrive, argued that the game time is 8:30 and the team was not ready to play.  Things worked out perfectly as new leadoff hitter Arik got the ball rolling early and it turned into an avalanche.  Note: That play on words is gratuitously for Mr. Hockey, Arik.  

 

Fashion Hit Continues - Gazette readers and staff are praying for the day that Zlogar comes to the game in a Gnaturals onesie a la Frank Gorshin as the Riddler.  It's really not that far off when you think about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No Strikes - Contrary to a rumor heard around the diamond last night, The Gazette staff is not nor have ever been on strike.  Each game has received coverage.  All contracts are up to date for staff employees and the paper looks forward to a prosperous future.

 

Team Vote - Zlogar had quite an accomplishment last night whacking his 2nd and 3rd lifetime homeruns and knocking in 10 runs against Hammered.  The first home run was a grand slam and the second was a walk-off winner to end the game 23-7 in four innings.  That's when Zlogar and his agent, Big B started chirping for a front page cover story.  Gazette is yet to confirm but Big B may be none other than Amazon founder and Dick-Rocket launcher, Jeff Besos.  Team, text me with a YES or NO with any comments on whether Gazette should run a feature story on Zlogar's historic night and we will listen to our audience.  We'll share the results next week along with any comments.