New Lenox, IL - On a picture perfect night at The Lions Den, the Gnaturals looked to avenge a string of close loses to The Scrappers over the past couple of seasons. The game started out promising as the first five Gnats batters recorded hits in route to the team batting around the order to plate six 1st inning runs. The momentum continued as The Scrappers went 1-2-3 in the bottom of the inning with the Gnats leading 6-0 after one. The Gnats added two more runs in the 2nd inning and it could have been more but Ump Orange called Matt Sutor for the third out of the inning for leaving second base early on a deep fly ball trying to advance to third. The Scrappers scored a run in the bottom of the second after Billy Blackshoes tripled to start the inning and scored on a SAC fly by Manny Noguns. That run would be the only one The Scrappers would score on the evening. The Gnats scored single runs in the third, fifth, and sixth innings to go up 11-1 and put themselves in a position to close the game early with a spotless sixth inning. The Scrappers lead off the 6th with a single and failed to send the runner on a double to short right field with two outs before Billy Blackshoes flew out to end the game. A jubilant Cap'n Jack couldn't contain his excitement after the game by coming over to the team by the third base dugout and shouting "That's what I'm talking about!". Ryno (2-0) picked up his second win of the season in a masterful pitching performance allowing three scattered base hits, two walks and a strikeout while facing only 24 of the possible minimum 18 Scrappers. Also credit the defense for a fine effort. Of the 17 balls that were put into play for outs, 14 of them were fly balls. With the one run allowed, the Gnats will remain at the top of the standings with their stingy 8 runs allowed in the young season. Game time is at 7:30PM next Tuesday against Rhino Sealcoat at The Lions Den.
Noteables:
If Ya Ain't First - Was nice to see the Gnaturals at the top of the standings heading into Tuesday night's play.
Top Turd Runner-up - Discount Tire in New Lenox. Way to protect your customer's privacy ya bozos. What if someone wanted to mug Zabala at 1:00, rob Burns at 1:45, settle a score with Langley II at 3:30 or have a nightcap with Ewing at 5:15? Why is this softball related? Former Master Batter, Jimmy Letsos spent many years after high school working there and telling folks like you that your tires were worn or that the warranty you overpaid for did not cover the issue or that it was your fault that you "fill in the blank" or didn't "fill in the blank", thus negating your warranty.
WTF is With That Anyway! - Langley II? Wouldn't that make you Langley Jr? Our guess is that Discount Tire input III in their "Big Brother" incorrectly OR just left it to II instead of III to save a couple fractions of a penny on any printed document with Langley III on it.
Let's Not Get Carried Away Yet - The Gnats belted out eight hits in the first inning to score six runs. It took the team five more innings to score five more runs. This team is capable of putting up more offense than 11 runs and should look inward to improve that mark.
Top Turd of The Week - Actually, it will be top turds of the week. Jack, Stapes, Sutor, Arik, Ken, and Foster. They all failed to pay their fine money from week 1, nor did they mention it. If you want to have a fine system for pop outs and egregious baseball stupidity, support it. The First Bank of MRKOZ will set up a Venmo account to make it easier to pay fines. Info will be shared with the Cap'n to disseminate to the team.
Ka-Ching - This week's donations will come from Jake (1), Pratl (1), G-Dog (1), Ken (1), and Ryno (1). Sutor (1) will be fined one dollar for leaving second base early unless he or the team can make a compelling case that Ump Orange was itchy to "make a call".
Jack (2), Stapes (2), Sutor (1 or 2), Arik (2), Ken (2) Ryno (2), Koz (1), Pratl (1), and G-Dog (1) all have outstanding balances.
Come On Man - The Gazette is a big fan of Manny Noguns. He plays a very good outfield, has an above average arm and hits his fair share. What we did not like was Manny trying to throw Ken out from left-center field on a single. Not only was Ken safe by a mile, Manny put his first baseman in danger by throwing a rocket in the path of the low hanging sun whereas his teammate had to duck out of the way of the ball, not to mention Ken, the runner, who was in a position to get beaned. Throw someone out at a base or really impress us by hosing down a runner at the plate but leave the "throwing the runner out at first base" to the infielders.
- Ump Orange showed up at The Lions Den a few minutes late and is seen getting an escort to home plate from Kozleton and a shadow.
Time and Temp - The Gazette has picked up a new partnership with WLLS weather personality Harrel Scott to provide the game time temperature. Harrel could not stick around so this picture was taken 50 minutes before the 6:34 PM (see above noteable) game time
I.L. - The Gnaturals Jeff Schoenhofen had to watch the action from the sidelines as Doc Lee indicates that the infielder may have a torn labrum. The youngster needs further evaluation to determine the course of correction whether it be therapy or surgery. Length of timeframe for the I.L. is to be determined and we'll keep a correspondent in Jeff's driveway to track his every move for further information.
Hey Walter!!! - One of your workers is driving the company van to play softball on Tuesday nights. Hopefully the park is the last stop of the evening if you know what I mean. Not mentioned here is the ProvenIT company vehicle that attends Tuesday night games. We know that the "network is not down at the Lions Den" so be careful that your boss doesn't attend these exciting softball games.
Leaving Here - Take the Gnats jersey off of Ken and put some concrete streets and buildings in the background and this is likely what it looks like after a grueling day at The Fed. Ken liked the view from third base today as he has that two and oh look on his face as he leaves the field.
Bigger Attractions - The Lions Den has kicked up their game this year in attracting top notch talent to entertain visitors. Seen here is the first annual jet race. The most westerly jet holds a commanding three plane length lead and cruised to victory. On tap for next week is the walking trail bike race that none of us will see, but can hear, as the combatants cycle through the wooded trails off the third base side of the field. Race time is at 8:30PM.
One Dollar Please - Mrs Koz has a strange reaction to son Jake's pop out, a big old smile. Oh wait, the smile is brought to you by the crisp apple taste of the adult beverage she is holding. Play on...
Cy Young Contender - Tonight's winning pitcher poses after the game for a sure write up in the Noteables. Ryno picked up his second win of the season in as many starts on the strength of some early offense and overall team defense. Ryno has given up eight runs on the season with only four of them earned. Nobody is more excited about the Gnats Fall 22' prospects than the amped up Ryno.
All For One - Every member of the Gnaturals recorded at least one hit against The Scrappers. On that note, every position player had their hand in executing an out. We'll give Arik an assist on the 3rd inning strikeout of #25 as he had to squeeze that ball.
Perfecto - After getting shut out last week, Stapes made a nice comeback with 4-for-4 on the evening. Dylan went 2-for-2 with two walks.
G-Dog - Joins the illustrious history of young men to play for the MB/Gnats franchise. Seen here tagging up at third base, The Dog went 2 for 3 with a SAC Fly, 1 run scored, and 2 RBI's. He will forever be in the meticulous books of the Gnaturals.
Well Done - No home runs were hit against The Scrappers and the threat was always there with three in tow. That is how you do it; save one for a big moment if you need it.
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