Ivy League Top Gnaturals

 

New Lenox, IL - The Fall 2022 season came to a slow ending on Tuesday night at the Lions Den as the Gnaturals fell to Ivy League 14-9 in the second round of the playoffs.  The game started out promising as Ivy League went down 1-2-3 after D Foster robbed the leadoff hitter of extra bases by making a sensational over the shoulder catch.  Two pop outs later, the Gnats came to the plate and scored three runs to lead 3-0 after one frame. Ivy put up two runs of their own while holding the Gnats scoreless for only the second time this year in the second inning.  The opponent that previously held the Gnats scoreless in the 2nd inning was, you guessed it, Ivy League in the week 7 match. Ivy ran out of home runs three batters into the second go-around of the line up and tacked on four more runs while the Gnats pushed across only one run to lead 6-4 after three innings. Both teams went scoreless in the 4th inning with Ivy taking two homerun outs to remain a 6-4 Ivy advantage going into the 5th inning. Ivy left three men on base in the fifth inning while only scoring two runs made things promising for the Gnaturals but the home town heroes failed to score and trailed 8-4 after five innings.  Both teams went scoreless in the 6th inning to keep the game at 8-4 going into the final inning.  Ivy broke things open by scoring six runs to take a commanding 14-4 lead going into the home half of the 7th.  Gnats made some noise scoring five runs after two out on the strength of a Stapes three run homer and a Pratl two run homer to close the gap to 14-9 before the final out was made.  Ivy League went on to get pummeled in the championship game 23-8 with a pizza chain sponsored team taking the title.  The 8-2 Gnaturals had their best season in team history and will look to build on their success in the 2023 season.  Congratulations to the Gnaturals on a successful season!

Noteables:

Power Outage - The Gnaturals picked the worst night to go cold at the plate.  The nine runs scored was a season low with the previous total of 11 runs scored in a victory against the Scrappers in week 2.  Leading into the championship game, the Gnats had only been blanked in five innings the entire fall before being shut out in four innings in the fateful loss to Ivy.

Live Wire - Cap'n Jack was certainly amped up on Tuesday night.  Seen here before the game trying to burn off some nervous energy.  The Cap'n later made a passionate pep talk between innings that featured 3 f-bombs in the first sentence.  Astute handicappers who took the over on the number of f-bombs in the fiery 37 second speech cashed in on the over at -270 on the money line.

Special Delivery - The ability to get just about anything delivered at any time of day has gone to the brink of ridiculous.  Seen here, UPS makes a special delivery to Jake Koz late in his round this past Saturday; a ball.  Koz delivered by sinking this 8-iron shot from 160 yards out for the eagle.

Dumb Dumbs - A nice candy to get as a treat to end your shopping trip at Berkots.  Not even a bad candy to get occasionally placed in your trick-or-treat bag to offset the mass of chocolate.  In this case, it's the Ivy League offense who contributed three home run outs during Tuesday night's play.  This reporter has seen games where Ivy has made six home run outs in a game.

Record Crowd - The largest crowd in the history of New Lenox Softball showed up on Tuesday evening to watch the final four play out the fall season.  Arik With An A's dad, Billy Scrumbler showed up at the game with his lovely wife Gigi Scrumbler.  The crowd base continues to grow.

Pre-Game - The Gnats missed "Rake the Leaves Night" on Monday and had to endure the wet and slippery going to warm up outside the third base dugout.  

Walk City - 55% of the Gnaturals are seen watching Uncle Gary toss one over for ball four against Dylan.  Not sure when the season ending stats will be compiled but Jamaica has to own every season and team record totals for bases on balls.

Double Double - Ken performed a rare feat in the 7th inning of last night's game when he hit a double past the Ivy left fielder Brandon Marone (who's has subbed for the MB/Gnats in the past).  Ken cruised into second base and then was met by Jeff with an I.V., air tank, and courtesy running duties.  We'll have to check the stats but Ken may have less than a dozen extra base hits in his entire career.  #nottheslowest

Stop the Race - This pic was captured when all was seashells and balloons for the Gnaturals in the third inning with one out, nobody on, and a 3-2 lead.  Things were soon to hit the fan as Uncle Gary loomed on deck.

Piss On the Ivy - Never really sure why guys walk past two empty portable johns to wizz in the woods.  #7 Ivy is living proof of such exemplary judgement.  Maybe Z can install some cameras around the facility after he wins the next New Lenox Community Park District President election to issue automatic tickets to citizens guilty of Public Wizzary. 

Dress Code - Seriously, who let this Dufus out of the house with those shorty shorts?  Not even a good look if you were a bachelor staying in on a Tuesday night and you wore a robe over them.  

Wise Man - Look who cashed in on the Over in the Jack F-bomb prop on Draft Kings.  Dave Sutor cleaned up when he bet his entire balance on the over.  Congrats on the big hit Dave!

Gazette News - Before wrapping up this edition of the Gazette, here are a few announcements:

There will be one more Gazette after this week and will feature Gnats by Numbers, unused pictures from throughout the fall campaign, and if Jack can get the stats finalized we'll do a recap on any eye catching feats both good and bad.

Send eventful pics from the Zlogar party to Al Koz via private group chat.  Those will be included in the year end Gazette.

Dear Lauren I - A promise is a promise.  You said at the Jack/Lauren II wedding that you'd for sure get out to watch a softball game before the year was up.  We know that you were just at this wedding the past weekend and the boys had to be talking about the big game, yet you did not show up to the big game to support the team.........and more importantly, spar with your mom.  The entire Gazette staff and family are very disappointed to have missed you for another season as the Kathy/Lauren I banter is easily more entertaining than any softball game.  We hope you're doing well in the Northlands.  If for some reason you are being held hostage, send an SOS and we'll send Ken and his bat up there to free you.

 

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