Ides of March

 


Aurora, IL - It is the middle of March and it can only mean one thing, tournament time!  No, not the NCAA basketball tournament, the inaugural Character of the Year tournament as conceived by the playful and bored Cap'n Jack.  This event is to determine the best Character of the Year used in 2022 Gazette articles with no criteria set as to what makes the winner the winner other than the team popular vote. The tourney has four regions, Rebels, Sparks, Coyotes, and Hawks.  There will be more to come on some of the highlights of the tournament once it has concluded as to not put biases in anyone's head while the voting is not finalized.  There surely are some Stacked Actors in this group with some Breakout names, but for most it will be wait until Next Year so look for a Gazette wrap up once the tournament draws to a conclusion with some personal opinions as well as a salute to the champion.


Bits and Pieces

New Feature - Readers may have seen the last of Turd of the Week.  The feature is not a personal favorite as such, so look forward to the weekly Police Blotter.  This new concept will report weekly on crimes against baseball and/or offenses committed on or near the field of play such as fashion, etiquette or other noteworthy faux pas. Gotta come up with a name for this jailbird who, not by choice is forced by boot to Learn to Fly.






Signings - After being M.I.A since the close of the 2022 Fall season, Jake Koz and Matt Sutor have signed with the Gnats for an undisclosed amount of money for an undetermined time frame.  Gazette reporter Winter Doldrums is on the story and will break the terms and conditions of the contract once that information is disclosed.


OHM's Law - The Gnaturals have done it again, another name change.  High Voltage will be the fall moniker starting later in 2023. The picture of the prototype uniform was taken by Gazette off season photographer Berry Blurry.  Nobody is exactly sure of the color or character highlights of the jersey, but we will publish an exclusive pic when the shipment comes in.  Oddly enough, nobody knows who this Player guy is as there is no #33 on the team unless this was done by a Generator.





Live-In Skin - Does anyone know how the guy from the Brew Jays is doing after taking a liner to the cranium?  We make fun of a lot of folks here but wish nobody ill will.  Hopefully we will see M.H. out there on the field of dreams this summer with a good story to tell.

Roll Call - Names for the fall season include Flash, Sparky, Ankiel, Ohmrun, Arc'n, Stapes, Rhino, Pratl, Suts, Jamaica, and Zlogs.  One wonders if any of the illustrious standbys of years gone by and recent past got a jersey offer?  Does Barta get a jersey since he plays on almost every team anyway??  Do the fans get names too........Drunko, Suds, Headwires, Lushy, Cupcake???

Gimme Stitches - In information that had not been previously made public, Ryno has admitted to hitting the deck on ground balls to third base in fear of being pegged by a Ken throw to first base.  Just theorizing here; "Is laying on the ground halfway between third and first the safest place when Ken is making that throw?".  Incidentally, Ryan uses Rhino but the Gazette goes with Ryno.

Easter Eggs - The Gazette drops Easter Eggs in many weeks so keep your eyes peeled and drop us a text or use the team chat if you discover one throughout the course of the year.  We'll see who is paying attention.  Also, remember that the games are on YouTube with a whopping 17 subscribers of the Alzy channel.  These games are equally there for you to use to scout the other team as well as yourselves but we are always hoping for a viral moment.  No telling when one of those neighbors is going to drive through their own fence and proceed to blow through the Balderman Fence to do donuts in shallow center field.

Pitchers and Catchers - Daylight savings time is upon us and Ain't It the Life to be dreaming of evenings of softball and short sleeves.  Just two short months away from the beginning of the season.  No schedules posted and only Jack knows what teams are likely going to compete.  We do know that Keith is gone and Zlogar is not on the April ballot for New Lenox Park District Czar.  Get that job Miguel and we can call you Zloczar.

Media Guide - Perhaps Cap'n Jack can put together a brief highlight package of the stats of 2022 and a small book report on the upcoming season for a Gazette pre-season edition.  The Captain is very busy these days with work, married life, running Character tournaments, and monitoring the thermostat so we will try to nail him down for some information and an interview heading into the 2023 Spring season.   


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