Sweet 16

 

 

New Lenox, IL - The Character of the Year has been weeded from the original 60 to the final 16.  No comments on any current candidates as to not persuade the masses but we will comment on a name from each region that we at the Gazette though would go farther if not for tough matchups.  In the Rebels Region, Lord Speedykins took it on the chin in a first round match with Walking Pirates of Penzance.  We had projected "Lord" making it to at least the sweet 16.  In the Sparks Region, Boots Trippums succumbed to Slappy Buntwell in a very tough second round match up.  That pairing was a toss up but the "Boots" camp is livid with tournament organizer, Control Freak, for the low seed to allow such an early clash of the titans.  In the Coyotes Region, Ginny The Geek lost to Luigi Piecut in an opening round match.  The pizza names are having a field day but we at the Gazette thought that Ginny, which is a knock off of the 1970's CBS betting charlatan Jimmy The Greek, would have squeaked out at least a win.  Like everyone else in these brackets who stick their neck out and make predictions, we are prepared to tear up our bracket busts and wait til next year.  Finally, in the Hawks Region, Milo DiVinci received a very low seed and took on Snapp E. Shuster and lost big.   As you recall, Milo is the pseudonym for a former 2004 Bravo player and we will leave it at that.  Stay tuned for the next couple of rounds which will get this tournament down to the Final Four.  Good luck, and we hope your bracket is still spotless!

Noteables:


Crime Against Baseball - Yoan Moncada.  Your team is losing to the Astros on opening day 1-0 in the top of the 8th inning with no outs and you get thrown out at third.  Fucking moron!  If this happens again in 2023 and he doesn't get shipped or sat, I will lose all respect for skipper Pedro Grifol as that should not have happened and certainly should never happen again.








  

 Ruckus - Apparently Joe Mikoff, Sonny Silverman, and Mr. Benson were seen patrolling the streets of Will County the other day.  If you see any of these three men, don't hide your dog, give them a can of beer and ask them politely to leave.







Werk Force Brewery - A tasty local beer but slightly incorrect.  You can never have enough Jakes.

















Wait.  What??? - The Gazette has been baiting Zlogar to run for New Lenox Park District President for quite a while now without much luck.  Former Gnat (Masterbatters) teammate Nick Palzer is going around New Lenox defacing campaign signs by placing his own name over Stephanie Peltzer's.  We like that in you Nick.  Two problems Nick:  1.  You're not actually on the ballot.  2. That's not how you spell your last name.  







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