New Lenox, IL - The 2023 Spring Men's Softball season is now upon us. We've lost Commissioner Keith to a drug cartel and if you can imagine, we've got a worse candidate to fill the position; Commissioner Gordon Wetfoot. You can call him Commissioner Gordon but that will sound a bit Batman-ish or you can call him Gordon Wetfoot. He'll likely answer to neither as he falls in a long line of asleep at the wheel New Lenox types who have worked previously for the NLCPD. One last blurb about the new Comish, he's started league play the first week of May. Gazette horse racing columnist, Buck Steed, says that no softball league should start before the running of the roses on the first Saturday in May.
2023 season has plenty of promises for the formerly known as Gnaturals, as they will now be called High Voltage. High Voltage will trot out the same lineup it did in the Fall of 22 with the Spring 23' signings of Koz and Sutor. The team is now on its third iteration and looking to build on its first ever regular season title in the fall of 2022 when it only lost one game until being eliminated by Ivy League in a final four matchup. High Voltage will participate in the league opener on May 2nd at 6:30PM against Sons of Pitches. It is too early to tell who any of the new names are in this seven team league that features the return of Brew Jays, Ivy League, and Beggars Pizza. Because of the odd amount of teams, each week will feature double headers. High Voltage has scheduled doubleheaders on May 9th and June 13th. The remainder of the season preview will feature player profiles of the your 2023 High Voltage.
Arik With An A - Arik lead the team last Summer with 24 hits and 19 singles and co-led with 4 doubles. Arik joined the team a few seasons ago as a fresh face but the years of double-dipping between softball and hockey have taken its toll on the affable catcher and part time outfielder.
Dylan (Jamaica) - Dylan was a nice defensive addition to the Gnats outfield last season, which is now considered one of the best units in the NLMSL. D led the team in walks in both the Summer and Fall sessions with 11 and 10 respectively. Dylan is a man of few words but he did mention that "nobody has pictures of just themselves". We wish that were true in the age of incessant selfies but we know what you mean.
Jumpin Jack - Aka El Capitan. Jack is entering his 17th season as skipper of the Master Batters/Gnats/High Voltage. Jack led the summer with a .594 BA, .639 On base percentage, 18 runs scored, and most eye black worn or spilled. Jack led the fall team with 20 singles. The Gazette will feature a Coaches Corner in an upcoming edition as nobody puts more thought into men's softball than Cap'n Jack.
Koz - After playing the spring session with Ivy League, all time MB/Gnat/High Voltage homerun, triple, and RBI leader rejoined for the fall campaign. Koz put all of his power numbers aside for the entire season by setting the table for the likes of Stapes and Sutor with a .676 BA and second leading scorer with 21 runs. Koz plays lock down defense in right center and is looking to settle the score with Ivy League, who bounced the Gnats from the 2022 playoffs.
Stapes - Led the summer team with 1.059 Slugging percentage, 1.653 OPS .500 ISO (whatever that means), 4 home runs, and 36 total bases. Stapes led the fall squad with 5 triples. Stapes plays sterling first base and has saved enough throwing errors to open up a liquor store with all of the cases owed to him by fellow infielders.
Jeff - Aka The Artist. Jeff led the summer team with 26 times on base. With the signing of Sutor, Jeff moved from shortstop over to second base to form one of the better double play combinations in the league. With the move to second base, the Gnats now have one of the top infields in the league. Jeff spent time on the IR last year with shoulder problems but came back to form in the fall session and is looking for a big 2023 campaign.
Old School - Ken is the longest tenured MB/Gnat/High Voltage along with son Jack. Ken is third on the all-time hits list with 224 and a career .537 BA. Little known fact about Ken is that he has two career triples. The fiery third baseman is seen here with a catchers glove circa 2003, which has been tougher to tame than a wild mustang. Ken has had a resurgence in the field with the acquisition of Stapes at first base and looks to get back to the hitting form of the 2021 campaigns.
Pratl - Led the summer team with 21 RBI and was tied for team lead with 4 doubles. Led the team in fines paid with quarters. Pratl plays right field and has flourished since the move to the corner spot. High Voltage has one of the most talented outfields in the league, which made a huge difference in the fall 22' campaign with the lack of giving up big innings due to giving up too many outs in the OF. Pratl is the planner of the first inaugural MB/Gnat/High Voltage golf outing, which hasn't yet taken place but will one day.
Ryno - Led the 2022 team with eight wins. Ryno has become one of the leagues top pitchers since Uncle Gary went over to Ivy League. Ryno fields his position and brings the added element of swagger to the hill. Ryno hit his first lifetime homerun in the summer league and added another in the fall. The excitable Ryno is looking to avenge the playoff loss and take the team all the way to the winners circle in 23'.
Sutes - Held a .900 BA going into the fall 22' season and saw that average tail to .891 after a fall campaign in which he led every offensive category including most nose hairs. Sutes led the team in all of the following categories: 31 hits, 36 times on base, .886 average, .900 on-base percentage, 2.114 slugging percentage, 3.014 OPS (sure wish I knew what that meant), 25 runs, 36 RBI, 7 doubles, 10 home runs, and 74 total bases. The one time Tri-Star star is joining High Voltage for the third time and second in succession in attempt to get the team over the hump and into the Show.
Zlogar - Z had a record of 3-0 subbing for Ryno on the hill in 22'. One start was famously when Ryno slept through a Tuesday afternoon and evening to provide an opportunity for the versatile LW West grad. Z is the only undefeated pitcher in league history with three starts or more. The once base path challenged Zlogar flashed speed in the fall of 22' to bat a lifetime high .636 with 4 doubles, a triple, and 2 home runs. Zlogar is 5 hits away from 100 lifetime knocks in only 55 games played.
Space Oddity - One obscure factoid on the 2022 Gnaturals is the summer leader in triples. If you have read this preview carefully, we have not addressed the team lead in that category. Interestingly enough, the leader in triples for the Summer of 2022 had three triples. The only person who had money on the leader of the team in triples was Kel Miper, Gazette part time talent scout. Kel had a $5 ticket on the winner at odds of 1000-1. The Gnatural with the most triples in the Summer of 2022 was none other than Whitehouse. With that, Whitehouse says; "Fuck you Gnaturals". And that is the 2023 season preview. Good luck this season boys!!!
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