Let's Play Two!

New Lenox, IL - High Voltage played their first regular season scheduled doubleheader last night against two of the leagues top teams.  When all was said and done, HV came out on top in a run rule first game against Ivy League 19-9, and a nightcap victory over Beggars 17-5. The Ivy League game started with High Voltage putting up six runs in the bottom half of the 1st to lead by a commanding 6-1 after one inning.  The teams traded a run in the 2nd inning before Ivy scored three runs, followed by two for HV to end the inning with the Sparks leading 9-5.  This is normally the point in the game when HV stops scoring runs and lets their opponents back into the game but tonight was an exception.  HV shut the door on Ivy in the top of the 4th while scoring three runs in their half to lead 12-5. Ivy made a brief rally by scoring four in the top of the 5th inning to trail 12-9 before the "walk" off heroics happened in the bottom half of the frame.  Ken led off the inning with an infield hit before the top of the order took over, culminating in a Pratl double to make the score 18-9 with Miguel representing the potential game ending run.  From there, Jamaica walked before Arik lined to the 2nd baseman for the second out of the inning.  From there, Uncle Gary decided to give Jeff a free pass in hopes of getting Ken to make the third out in his second at bat of the inning.  The rest is history as Uncle G could not find the strike zone to make Ken the game winning RBI hero and Pratl the winning run and a final score of 19-9.  Koz, Zlogar, and Foster all went yard in game one for High Voltage.

The nightcap went just as well as Beggars scored a run in their half of the 1st inning while HV put two across on a Sutes homerun to lead 2-1.  The pie boys went scoreless in the 2nd while HV scored two more runs on the strength of a Foster homerun to lead 4-1.  Beggars added three in the top of the 3rd to tie the game briefly before HV scored four runs to take an 8-4 lead into the 4th inning.  Beggars went three up three down while the new found late High Voltage went on a nine run scoring frenzy to lead 17-5.  Beggars came back in their half of the 5th to score a none threatening run to end the game 17-5 with HV on top.  Sutes had two homeruns and Foster had his second of the evening.  The boys play next Tuesday at 7:30PM in a game against the Brew Jays.

Noteables:

Crimes Against Baseball - This week's award goes to none other than yours truly, Richard Blatzo, during a pre-game gaff.  Blatzo was walking up to the park as a ball was hit over the leftfield fence.  Apparently, that was the only ball left in service so umpire Blow Dude called for the ball to be retrieved immediately.  Blatzo was already cradling the ball when he attempted to chuck one underhand to the leftfielder but hung onto the ball far too long sending it straight in the air and 30 feet from the target.  Stick to writing Blatzo.

Milk Carton - Cancel the A.P.B.  Lauren made it to the game last night!!!  It took staff photographer, Blind Draw, minutes to find Lauren as she was positioned right in front of his nose.  To say that Lauren should attend every game is an understatement.  The Gazette is working on a contract to sign the plucky northlands nurse as its staff in-game color reporter.

Poor Form - For the second week in a row, Blow Dude sent out a blank roster sheet to High Voltage only to have it be ignored by Cap'n Jack who shows up to the games with his own copies......much to the puzzlement of B.D.

We kid around, but the park official was hawking softballs down the leftfield bushes in what is the first attempt ever by a New Lenox Community Park District official to make such an effort.  HINT: Maybe somebody should present the Remove the Grates campaign to the new regime, as they may actually listen and do something about the dangerous arrangement called the batters box.

Warmups - Pitching is a dangerous trade.  You'll notice more and more infielders wearing protective head gear but things got out of hand when Koz (red helmet) and Billy Scrumbler demonstrated the new proposed gear for outfielders in the age of live balls and titanium bats.

Zloggy Award - (Pronounced z-low-gy)  It was late in the Beggars game when Ken stroked an RBI single to the outfield but got tossed out at second base trying to stretch it into a double.  The slide was reminiscent of a sheet of paper flying under the crack of a door.  Ken bellowed something out and laid there for a few seconds while daughter Lauren had one foot on top of the fence ready to come to dad's aid before Old School stood up and declared his safety.  This part about a daughter loving her father is very important to note, as the next section will explain.

Lauren's Corner - With all due respect to Jimmy Bags, you've been replaced.  

Up until last night, the Gazette was partial to the Lauren/Kathy show.  Kathy was "cleaning house" and could not make the games but the output was a much more involved Lauren with watching the game................AND COMMENTING.

Pull up a seat and try not to belly laugh at some of the Laurenisms.

After watching a few balls smoke by him at third, Ken fielded a grounder, pumped once while looking the runner back to third, then threw late over to first base to not record an out.  Lauren: "He's not used to catching it, he didn't know what to do".

After watching Ken labor to first base, Lauren: "What happened to him?  He's slow".

Upon seeing Jeff, Ken, and Jack record all of the outs in the 3rd inning against Ivy: Lauren: "Get rid of the three Shoenhofens' and let's see how this team goes"

That last comment got staff mathematician, Count Abacus, to work out the numbers of the Ivy League game.  High Voltage has 11 members and 3 Schoenhofen' s which comprises of 27% of the team.  Until two outs were recorded in the 5th inning, the Schoen-crew made 50% of the teams outs.  Things didn't look so good in the 5th inning when Ken lead off with a grounder to short but things swung the Schoen-way as the infielder made a throwing error on play.  The game ended with two outs in the 5th inning for a final tally of the Schoenhofens' making 43% of the teams total outs for the game.

Lauren got a chuckle out of Richard Blatzo's question:  How many Schoenhofens does it take to screw up a softball team?

We're almost done but not quite yet.

After Jack's failed attempt on a flyball to left field when he touched the ball as it was sailing over the fence:  Lauren: "He's too little.  He tries to compensate by jumping"

Lastly, after reaching base versus Beggars, Ken stood on first and waiting for a courtesy runner:  Lauren: "Get the old man a pinch runner"

OK, one more.  After Koz hit a two-run triple in the 5th against Ivy League, Lauren: "Can I join your family?"

Now we are done.