Tubby Lumpkins - 2022 Lions Den Gazette Character Tournament Champion!!!

New Lenox, IL - In a long and hard battle for name supremacy, Tubby Lumpkins outpointed Slappy Buntwell in the finals by the narrowest of margins.  Lumpkins grinded away a 7-5 victory over Buntwell in the first annual Character Tournament Championship that saw 60 opponents get narrowed down to one winner over the past several weeks.  Tubby Lumpkins beat Smoke Doorag 7-4 to get to the finals while Slappy Buntwell won a squeaker 6-5 over Zeke Spitshine.  The team should hold an investigation as to which team member abstained voting in the Final 4 matchups.  

With some digging from Cap'n Jack, we learn that both Tubby and Slappy came from the October 5, 2022 Gazette.  That edition must have been a strong read to produce both finalists for the tournament.  Any of you folks out there who cannot sleep and want to turn the clock back six months should check out that edition.  Slappy Buntwell is referenced in The Yanks Are Coming piece that bitches about the ESPN drop ins of Aaron Judge attempting to break the AL homerun title.  Buntwell, as it turns out, is the Gazette's baseball expert.  Tubby, on the other hand, is featured in Miner 49.  Jeff inexplicably got doubled off of first base when Lumpkins caught a pop up.  Ken later admitted to sending Jeff and self-policed a fine into the team jar.  Ken not only invented Tubby Lumpkins, he was the main culprit in the Tubby Lumpkins Caper.  Way to wrap that in a bow for us Kenny.

Thanks to Jack for taking the time to reread the Gazettes of 2022 and provide us all with some spring time entertainment.  Congratulations to Tubby Lumpkins and all of his backers!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

High Voltage Summer 2024 Champions!

Image
  New Lenox, IL - It's been a long time coming for the team that started in this league in 2015.  Dozens of players and non-players who were called into action have taken at-bats for the Master Batters, Gnaturals, and High Voltage. Last night was the night that everything came together and High Voltage got over the hump to win its first championship in the team's 19th season. The first game of the evening pitted the #3 seeded Volts against last year's Summer League champions #2 seeded Chuck's.  The game was nip and tuck all game long until Chuck's rolled a five-spot in the bottom of the sixth inning to take a 15-12 lead over the Volts.  High Voltage has seen this movie many times in the past and has gone out quietly to end the season without ever having gotten a chance to play in the finals.  This year seemed no exception with the Volts making two outs in the first three batters in the top of their final inning.  The tide changed with a runner on first whe...
Read more

Volts Go Hog Wild in Opener

Image
  New Lenox, IL - Tuesday was a mix of different emotions at The Lions Den as High Voltage kicked off the 2025 season.  With the team looking to run their championship form to a third consecutive session, word on the street was released that this will be the final season played at the old ballpark before moving to the $10 Million facility a few miles up the road this fall.  With perfect weather conditions in the low 70's, High Voltage began the season with a much different look.  With the absence of Koz, Stapes, Jamaica, and Noah, the Volts began the season with a meet and greet in the dugout minutes before the contest.  The game against Hog Wild (formerly Corona) was tight all the way with both teams trading small leads until the fifth inning when the Volts batted around for seven runs to build a double-digit lead.  Pesty Hog Wild stayed in the game until the end by scoring enough runs to keep the game going but could not muster a big enough inning to clos...
Read more

Another Day in Paradise

Image
  New Lenox, IL - It was another fine summer type weather evening at The Lions Den on Tuesday night with High Voltage taking on Paradise Bay in the 8:30 match. The visiting Volts got out to a quick start with a six spot in the first inning, and never relinquished the lead from that point.  Paradise answered back with three runs in the bottom of the first inning to cut the lead in half at 6-3.  The game totally got out of hand when the Volts scored 15 runs to take a commanding 21-3 lead.  Paradise scored another three runs to cut the deficit to 21-6 after two innings.  Each team matched a pair of runs in the third before flipping sides to start the fourth with the Volts leading 23-8.  Paradise scored one run to keep the game from ending in their at bat but High Voltage tallied in the bottom of the fourth to end the game 24-9 on run rule.  After the win, High Voltage ups its record to 2-0 for a first place tie with Transcend Realty while Paradise Bay fa...
Read more