New Lenox, IL - With games running down at the old Lions Den, High Voltage took on The Rendel's for their first meeting on a lovely late spring evening. The game didn't last long as the host Volts scored nine times in the 1st inning to establish early dominance. After taking the second inning off at the plate, High Voltage scored twice in the 3rd inning to lead 11-0. Rendel's went out quietly in the top of the 4th to set the stage for the winning rally. Stapes led off the 4th with a solo homerun. Two batters later, Pratl one-armed a two-run shot over left-center field fence to put the game within reach of an early exit. Following base hits by Jerry and Bogo, Jeff ended the game with a rope RBI single, and a Volt 15-0 victory. Ryno walked three batters and struck out three in route to a one-hit shutout. With the victory, High Voltage moves into sole possession of first place. Next week is a 6:30 PM game against the Moon Goons. Anyone taking a picture of a Moon Goon player with the quarter moon in the background will win tickets to a T-ball game at Rebels Fields.
Notables
You Had Your Chance - After many, many years of touting Z for the position of Da Commish, we may have finally dashed those dreams. Commissioner Tammy comes into the New Lenox Mens Softball picture and things are actually looking like they are running properly. Nice call last week on the early rain out. Even without the rain, it was a cold and miserable night anyway, but Tammy obviously subscribes to the Gazette Tuesday Weathercast and got it correctly as the rain did come into the area early evening and hung around for several hours. Another good move is moving the schedule back one week instead of adding the rainout on the end of the season. Z, you may now be looking at head groundskeeper at Union School at this point.
Five Short of Uncle G - Jack did some shopping over the weekend to bolster the new man cave. Three 75" TV's that are all programmed to play Tom Brady highlight clips. A few more televisions, and Jack will threaten the output of the garage bar at the Garriott.
From The Cornfields - Koz was a surprise stand in tonight in right-center field. See if you can spot him off in the distance as he walks up while taking a nap.
It Happened Again - Many years ago, Bags lost a bunch of weight and his moniker as he became Half a Bag. History repeated itself. Bill$ dropped 45 pounds since the last time we saw him and is now Bill. We would have included a picture but we did not get express permission to use his likeness. Thanks go out to Gazette sketch artist Snap Lens for the real life image. Keep up the good work Bill.
Fore!!! - What do you do when you forget to bring your softball spikes? Wear your golf shoes of course. Stapes might be the only guy in league history to deposit a drive over the fence while wearing saddle oxfords.
Fit to be Tied - The Paradise Bay/Transcend Reality game ended in the second tie of the year in only three weeks in the Tuesday night league. Brings back memories of the NHL when ties were a normal occurrence before overtime rules were changed to eliminate washes.
Buy a Ken, Get One Free - Hey, BOGO finally showed up. He stated that we would have seen him a week sooner except that last week was rained out.
Brush With Greatness - Colin Kaepernick showed up to Tuesday evening's game. When asked what he thought about the new Bears head coach, Colin said; "I hope for Chicago fans that he is not a shitty a coach as Matt Nagy turned out to be".
Seeing Double - It was nice to have Koz back in the lineup tonight. Paradise Koz offered to take the place of Volts Koz for the evening until he saw the original walk in through the cornfields.
Pickled - Before Tuesday's game, Sutes took on his four best Pickleball clients from the gym in a one on four match. The game wasn't close as the Oldsters continually got in each other's way while Sutes dominated play. Phyllis ended up swatting Fred more times than she hit the ball. Edna didn't fare much better either as she struck Bob in his nards, thus eliminating him for the remainder of the game. When asked if he felt good about beating adults two and a half times his age, Matt responded; "Hey baby, a dub is a dub. Go Yankees!".
Dog Days - Molly and Pumpkin got together at the House of Ken to discuss what to do with Jack's new furniture if given a crack. Molly suggested they put a Phillies blanket on the backrest. When Pumpkin asked why, Molly shot out: "Piss on the Phillies".
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